Who else struggles with learning to love your body as a mom? 🙋🏻♀️ I know I’m not the only one, right?
I’ve seen lots of posts about wearing your stripes as a mom, learning to love your body, and embracing those stretch marks.
Hell… I’ve written some of them! But deep down on the inside… I have not always loved my postpartum (or pre-baby) body. The prospect of learning to love your body, it’s easier said than done.
(Trigger Warning for body image and eating disorders.)
(FYI. Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning that at no additional cost to you, I make a small commission if you click through and make a purchase.)
Worthiness, Body Image, and Perfectionism
Is it possible to divorce body image from motherhood nowadays? Is it possible to divorce body image from just being a woman at all?
How much of your life have you spent worried about the way you looked?
How your body looked in the mirror?
How much fat you did or did not have?
If you’re like me, you remember spending all of Junior High worrying about how “fat” you were because one boy said when you put on a yellow coat people think you’re the school bus during homeroom.
It didn’t take long for me to dabble in bulimia until I found these diet pills my dad had been using. You know back in the early 2000’s they basically put cocaine in them? Not literally, but the drugs in the diet pills they sold back then were somewhere on the scale between caffeine and cocaine. No joke.
I used to pop a handful of them in the morning. I remember being totally buzzed and feeling like I was going to jump out of my seat in first-period Chemistry class.
Then, I eventually started smoking cigarettes.
Had that little habit from about 15-16 until I decided I wanted to start trying to get pregnant with my first child around 27. I even relapsed into smoking again while I wasn’t pregnant.
When I finally quit for the last time, I gained 20 lbs.
So beyond the stretch marks and saggy boobs, I was the heaviest I had ever been besides when actually pregnant.
The thing about it is that I was also the healthiest I had been my entire adult life with the added weight.
I wasn’t smoking, I was eating fairly healthy besides the occasional cheeseburger or piece of chocolate, I was walking nearly every day while pushing a double stroller, and I was emotionally stronger than ever before.
Why then was I unable to shake this feeling of complete unworthiness due to my weight?
This whole learning to love your body thing really is a bitch sometimes.
No matter how good of a mom I was. No matter how smart and knowledgable, resilient, strong, or spiritual, there was this nagging wound that just wouldn’t close.
This wound that told me I would never be enough until I was “perfect” on the inside and out. That I will always be unworthy of love, abundance, and praise unless I can check every single box on some imaginary list society has programmed into my mind.
And now, motherhood reveals itself as not a curse to my body, or something that has “ruined” my body.
(Check out this FB post I wrote in the throes of postpartum with my twins.)
Slaying Perfectionism with Your Postpartum Body
I have finally come to realize that becoming a mother and all that has meant for my body has been a blessing.
Why?
Not just because of the obvious results, those cherubic little humans who have stolen my heart. While they are the greatest gift, there is another one that I have been given.
I have a lot fewer fucks to give and a lot more reason to question the stories I had been fed my whole life.
Sure, I cringe a little bit when I get that bathing suit out. Is it just me, or are there none out there made for someone like me? Someone who isn’t quite plus-sized, but also a little chubby? Someone who’s 5’2 with like G cup breastfeeding boobies? They’re just not comfortable and not flattering.
My number one concern now isn’t how I look though. It’s literally ensuring the safety of my kids while at a pool or beach. I have less mental space to even consider my own appearance beyond that initial twinge when I get dressed.
And as I think about why I even have the little twinge and cringe as I look in the mirror while getting dressed, I stop and wonder why.
I wonder why I should actually not look at my body and see it as something sexy and beautiful. Perfect as it is.
There is nothing that is objectively wrong with it. Is there some rulebook that God himself (herself?) handed down to humans stating that stretch marks and flabby bellies were bad?
If anything, we seem to be specifically designed to NOT be perfect since in order to attain whatever the current definition of perfection is requires a lot of money, and potentially getting plastic surgery to physically alter your appearance. (Which, of course, if that’s your thing, go for it. Whatever makes you feel good.)
The more and more I thought about it, the more I felt this need to rebel.
This need to rebel even against the judge that resides in my own mind. To say…
“Yeah, I have a belly and stretch marks. Let me slip into this bikini and just show them off.”
No more hiding. Especially from myself. The truth is that when you worry about what your body looks like, no one really cares. Who else really cares what your body looks like, besides you?
Of course, there will always be that one negative judger out there, but they are truthfully few and far between.
Reconnect with yourself in 5 minutes or less.
(even in the chaos of momlife)
Download these 5 tried and true self-care practices that get you grounded and ready to get back to mommin' ASAP.
Who Cares Anyway?
Everyone else is too worried about their own imperfections to really give two shits about yours.
And when I see a mom rocking a bathing suit and showing off all that she’s got going on, I just feel hella proud of her and slightly envious. Because as much as I try, and underneath any bravado and body positivity there is still this little voice I am working on rooting out that tells me I’m not good enough.
I see a mom in a bathing suit letting it all hang out, and I wish I was her because I assume she has more confidence than I do.
Though perhaps she’s just like me.
Trying.
Trying to love her body even if it isn’t “perfect” because it’s perfect for her. Learning to love your body isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time and patience with yourself.
I haven’t mastered the art of body positivity yet. I may never. I might never be able to completely eradicate the judgmental voice inside of me, but I will be sure to do my best to love myself even when that voice is screaming at me.
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I used to laugh at those moms who said they wouldn't know what to do with alone time if they got... and now I'm one of them. After years of being waist-deep in diapers and breastmilk, my cousin and I decided to implement a quarterly moms' night away. So this morning I...
How to Survive Disney World with Toddlers
Some people might think I'm a few bricks short of a load for deciding to go to Disney World with Toddlers. That's toddlers plural, not a single toddler, but somehow I made the trek with my twin toddlers and preschooler, and we survived! (and loved it) Before I just...
Mom Shaming Sucks. Let’s Choose Mom Love Instead.
As much as mom shaming is going on between moms, maybe it's mostly going on internally... What if we chose mom love for ourselves in the form of self-love, and then extended that to all mothers instead of mom shaming? (FYI. Some of the links below are affiliate links,...
My Twin Birth Story (Hospital Induction, No Epidural)
My twin boys just turned 2 today, and it felt like the right time to share my twin birth story. This is the twin birth story of Sebastian Charles and Maximus James. When I found out I was pregnant in Early 2017, I was so excited to plan a totally natural water birth....
Screw Winter Blues: My Plan for Treatment of Seasonal Affective Disorder
Looking for tips for treatment for seasonal affective disorder? These are the strategies I'll be testing out this year. As if momlife isn't hard enough, try adding seasonal affective disorder (SAD) to the mix, but this year I have a plan for treatment for seasonal...
10 Time-Saving Productivity Tools for Moms
Are you a mama in need of some productivity tools so you can do #allthethings? These are my 10 favorites. One of the biggest challenges for moms is time. We don't have enough of it! So I've compiled my favorite time-saving products, and productivity tools for busy...
4 Month Sleep Regression: Baby Becomes a Demon
The 4 month sleep regression is one of the most dreaded phases of parenting. You've finally gotten the hang of this parenting thing, you think it's all smooth sailing, and then the 4 month sleep regression steps in to knock you off your parenting pedestal. It's...
Why is How Often Moms Shower a Hot Topic?
I shared a heartfelt post on Facebook about the sacrifices and joys of being a mom, but what caught a lot of attention was a debate on how often moms shower. We joke about it, but it's usually true that moms shower less than non-moms, especially during those early...
Fourth Trimester: How One Mom Helps New Moms Thrive Postpartum
There are so many ways in which modern society does not fully support new moms, especially during postpartum. So one mom decided to do something about it. When Lisa Chin began her journey of entrepreneurship, she thought about what she would pursue even if she didn't...
How to Make a Baby: Get Pregnant Faster
There's more to how to make a baby than the good old birds and bees talk you got as an adolescent. Many adults have knowledge gaps when it comes to trying to conceive, so let's fill them in so you can get pregnant faster. Have you been doing it like rabbits for months...
Things to Do With Toddlers to Beat Boredom
Running out of ideas of things to do with toddlers? Sometimes we get into a slump as kids grow and need to come up with new activities for toddlers as they grow. These toddler and mom-approved things to do with toddlers at home will stimulate their developing bodies...
Must-Try Foods for Picky Toddlers They’ll Actually Eat
If you're trying to get your little one to be more adventurous with their eating, these foods for picky toddlers are a great place to start! We all know what it's like to slave over a delicious and nutritious meal only for our little ones to push it away and stick...
Creating a Baby Registry on Amazon
The best thing new parents can do when shopping for their bundle of joy is creating a baby registry on Amazon. In this post we will talk about all the pro's and con's of creating a baby registry on Amazon and how to do it. But first, let's talk about what a baby...
Gratitude is the Attitude Moms Need + How to Get it
Gratitude is the attitude many of us WANT to cultivate as a mom, but we have so much on our minds, and sometimes remembering how much we have to appreciate and be grateful for gets put on the backburner. While gratitude is the attitude we know we *should* be focusing...
What is Self-Care for Moms, and Why is it Important?
Self-care for moms is more important than for most other people on the planet. Being a mom is like having 2.5 jobs, and a lot of us have jobs on top of that! When will we take self-care for moms seriously? There are countless memes about how moms are exhausted and...
Is Mom Guilt a Good Thing?
We've all felt the mom guilt, haven't we? The mom guilt and the mom-shaming seems to be at epic levels, but have we ever stopped to consider if there might be some good to be found inside the messy mom guilt? The other day I posted on my personal Facebook profile...
