The struggle is real moms. I went to college, had a career, but really I want to be a stay at home mom.
But even though in my heart I knew I want to be a stay at home mom, I resisted. Being called “just” a mom is offensive as hell.
Any mother knows that this is the toughest job in the world. I’ve worked outside of the home, from home, and have also not worked at all (if you can call being a stay at home mom not working). I would always been quick to call out someone who puts down stay at home moms, but really the one I needed to call out was myself.
(FYI. Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning that at no additional cost to you, I make a small commission if you click through and make a purchase.)
Deciding to be a stay at home mom is a huge shift in identity.
I’m a feminist, college-educated, and have an IQ a little above the cutoff for genius.
I’ve worked at huge organizations and national television networks. I’ve studied abroad in two countries.
I believe in equal pay. I want to be an example of what a woman can achieve for my daughter. I’ve built my own businesses. Yet, something has not felt right in my heart and soul for a long time.
Today it dawned on me, despite wanting to fit the mold of a modern mom and woman, my soul is screaming for something else right now.
I have resisted. I have fought it. I have pretended my whole world and place in the world didn’t shift the moment I first got pregnant. And it made me miserable.
I thought because I am intelligent, have an excellent (and expensive) education, and have an aptitude for many types of work that I must work. I must have a career outside the home.
I said I’m a feminist, but feminism failed me here.
I internalized all of my beloved ideas of girl power and equality as messages about how my worth is dependent on my ability to climb ladders, smash glass ceilings and make money.
But my worth is dependent on nothing.
I am enough and worthy whether I become president of the United States or never work another day in my life. (Though we know that when it comes to working, there’s no job tougher than that of mother.)
Today I realized that (at least for now) I want to be “just a mom.”
Sure I’ll have hobbies, I’ll have a blog, I’ll write, but I want my priority and job to be that of mom.
Not because I have to. Not because it’s my “place” as a woman, but because it’s the place I am choosing because it is what my heart wants and needs.
And I also appreciate the privilege I have in being able to make this choice. Many moms must work or must stay at home because of life circumstances.
But perhaps the glass ceiling I am smashing now is the ceiling on the box I’ve created for myself. The box of what a mother should be. The box of what a woman should be. The box of shame, self-doubt, guilt, and unaligned expectations.
I thought if I just get the next promotion, sign the next big client, hit revenue goals, that I would finally feel free.
But as surely as 1950’s housewives may have felt trapped by their role, I was in reality, just as trapped in this modern role of woman and mother.
I’ve always been radical. The black sheep. The psychedelic sheep. So I’m practicing radical motherhood. I’m throwing my entire soul into being a mom.
Being “just a mom.” Because it is my choice, and what my heart is calling me to do.
At the end of the day I had to follow the quiet dream I’ve had forever. I want to be a stay at home mom. To be just a mom.
Trying to pick a formula? You’re in the right place. If you’ve narrowed your choices down to Similac Advance vs Pro Advance, but just can’t make up your mind, let’s break down the differences so you can make an informed decision. There are so many formulas out there...
Getting outside is so important for little ones to get fresh air and run off some energy, not to mention it's great for mama too! This is our list of the best outdoor toys for on year old that kids and moms both love. We've put together a list of our toddlers'...
Baby receiving blankets are a must-have on any baby registry. They’re so versatile and useful, that almost every new parent will swear by always having them on hand. But there’s a lot of options. Like which material is best? How big should they be? What’s the...
You've been breastfeeding your toddler for what feels like foreeeever, and you're ready to wean. But how? In this post, I'll break down some tips for how to wean a toddler from breastfeeding. I've put in a combined roughly 94 months of breastfeeding so far between my...
The BEST resource for learning how to totally rock momlife is the wisdom other moms learned in the school of hard knocks. So we are sharing 28 best mom hacks that real moms swear by and shared on our Facebook page. Honestly, some of the tips and incredible mom hacks...
Want more breastfeeding tips? Find us on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.facebookinstagrampinterest Got a stage 5 clinger who won't let go of your boob? Like your nipple feels like it's now permanently attached to your little squish? You've got a cluster feeder....
Think you're pregnant or trying to conceive? You're probably wondering what kind of pregnancy test should I buy? These 5 questions will help you choose which is best for you, and we'll give you our pick for the best one. So you can answer the question for yourself on...
Want to give your breastfed baby a bottle, but worried about them starting to prefer the bottle over breast? Paced feeding is a great way to initiate bottle feeding, and I'll share how and why I chose paced feeding with my breastfed babies. I've breastfed for over 6...
Just found out your pregnant, or maybe wondering if you are? These first month pregnancy tips will help you get started. The first few weeks of pregnancy can be stressful and also blissful. These are three tips to help you get started at the very beginning, and I've...
Another year over, and a new one about to begin. As I write this it is 8:21pm on December 31, 2019. We are about to start a new decade. Like so many others, we are taking a minute to look back first. These are our top 10 viewed posts of 2019 here at Mom Uprising. They...